Prem Nirmal is a scientific mystique. He is also a compassionate counselor, human trainer and a sex educator. You can ask a question to Prem on the subjects of Sex and Spirituality, Personal Growth, Enlightenment etc. The questions of the common interest to the spiritual seekers will be answered in this column. To ask a question to Prem, send a mail to prem@premnirmal.com or click here.

Q-1: What is Spirituality? (Priya, Delhi)
Spirituality comes from the word spirit, which means the principle of life that animates the body of living things. The word spiritual means relating to the intangible spirit and not to physical nature or matter. Spirituality is the state or quality of being dedicated to the spiritual and long-lasting values as contrasted to temporal ones.
The Sanskrit word for spirituality is “Adhyatma”. (‘Adhi’-‘atma’) meaning “everything about spirit”.

Q-2: What is the difference between Spirituality and Religion? (Mohan, Pune)
Religions are many but spirituality is one. Religion helps you to cultivate character, amend your behavioral patterns to align with the existing tradition, to be moral etc. These are all peripheral changes. Unfortunately, majority of the religious people world over are caught in this aspect of decorating the periphery. Spirituality is all about the center, which is forgotten completely. In fact, if you go deep to find the real meaning of the word ‘religion’, it comes from its Latin root religare, which means returning back to the Source.
Spirituality is an inner revolution. It is all about fundamental or core level transformation. When the change happens at the center, the peripheral changes happen as the by-product. You don't need to cultivate them. Our focus, therefore must be the core level inner transformation.

Q-3: Is it possible to be spiritual while staying with the family, in the society and working in this commercial world? (Rajan, Mumbai)
Yes! It's definitely possible. You do not need to renounce the world to be more spiritual! Does someone object, if you slow down a bit and be more relaxed? In fact people around you will like you more if you are relaxed, because when you are relaxed, you become more loving and caring person. It adds to your effectiveness and you become more humane too.
So, it's all in the mind! As within, so without. As the mind, so the world. To become happy and peaceful, you may renounce the world and go to Himalayas. You may find peace there, but that peace will be of Himalayas, not yours! What's the use of such a borrowed peace? While staying in the midst of the market place, if you remain quiet and tranquil within, nothing can disturb you. That, which is yours, remains with you. That, which is borrowed, goes away.
While staying in this world, you can do better sadhana, simply because you get lots of opportunities to test yourself everyday. Does noisy neighborhood irritate you? Do you get angry if someone pushes you in the crowded train? Becoming more observant of the mind in such situations is the beginning of the spiritual journey for you! If you observe your mind while sleeping beside your wife and your child, what's the problem? Does anyone come to know about it? Who stops you from doing that? So begin from wherever you are. Right now is the best time to start!

Q-4: Many yogis talk about conserving sexual energy in name of celibacy or Brahmacharya. Is it really necessary for spiritual upliftment? Do you think it is possible for the modern man who is bombarded with sexual messages from media all the time? (Pravin, Mumbai)
Yes, it is true that it is the same cosmic energy that is present in living beings as the sex force. This energy is considered as sacred, something that is worthy of being worshipped, not frittered away. The normal logic is that any sense experience consumes prana. It is also considered logical that higher spiritual pursuits need lots of prana and hence any activity that depletes the pranic levels is not recommended. It is said that celibacy ensures the abundance of prana to the seeker.
But, many modern sexologist laugh at this traditional view of conserving sexual energy, saying that it is an affluent that will find its way out, any way!
For the modern man, it is better to trade the middle path. Indulge in it if you like, but without the guilt attached to it. Preserve it if it is possible for you. It is always better to control and discipline our senses gradually, only through understanding and not abruptly. In any case the truth is not in the extremes. It is always better to follow the middle path! It is true that all our Rishis were married and lived a balanced sex life, and still attained to greatest heights in spirituality.

Q-5: Is sexual indulgence against spirituality? (Radhika, Delhi)
Modern mind has lots of influences from many resources. In ancient India when khajuraho temples and kamasutra treatise developed, men and women were equal participants in the sexual act. That is how the word “sambhog” has come. Sama – Bhoga means equal enjoyment! Sex was considered very creative, not only from procreation point of view but recreation as well. It was not something to be done away with but an event to be celebrated, a road which led to ecstasy and finally nirvana for both the participants.
"Hindu philosophy is truly holistic as it speaks of four purusharthas: dharma, artha, kama and moksha. Kama means desire, including sexual desire. Thus the path to moksha or liberation is through the experience of kama. In the tenth chapter of the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says: "I'm omnipresent but in the human body, I take the form of desire, particularly sexual desire." Maithunam paramam tatvam, shrushti stithi anya karanam….( Coitus is the ultimate principle behind creation, preservation and destruction of the Universe), said Lord Shiva in the Kailas Tantra.
In fact ancient Indian scriptures held both abstinence and Tantra as valid ways for achieving nirvana! Tantra recommends indulgence with awareness. Tantra says, indulge but with awareness! Indulge to such an extent that you have no further desire left. Now this is fraught with danger! It is for the brave and the resolute because you are not aware enough; you have a high probability of sinking deeper into the quagmire instead of rising above it.
Trantric philosophy holds that sexually man is required to move through four stages. These are auto sexuality (age 0-7), homosexuality (age 7-14), heterosexuality (age 14-42) and asexuality from then onwards.
Unlike physical aging, the sexual stages depend upon us, but this is the pattern that nature wanted to follow. At 42, man's obsession for sex will leave him. He may still have sex but he will be detached. He will have attained a natural celibacy. At this stage his spiritual attainment too, will reach its climax, because he is evolved in every way.

Q-6: Can healthy sexuality lead to spiritual experiences? (Parag, Kalyan)
In a committed relationship where love and trust are the basic pillars of relationship, it is possible to remove all the masks and be totally vulnerable. When this happens, and it is most likely to happen during sexual encounter, if you are fully aware and meditative, it is possible for the energy to be activated. By channeling the sexual energy through various charkas, you can reach levels of ecstasy where meeting and merging takes place. It is a kind of divine experience through your partner! Such an experience creates a bridge between the left and the right hemispheres of the brain, fusing the logic of the left with the intuition of the right. It is this fusion that creates the experience of ecstasy in which body, mind, heart and spirit all participate together!
When a loving couple enters in a deep sexual embrace in meditative mood, with the whole body and whole being, the mind stops! The consciousness becomes clear and fresh that throws you in a quality called innocence. This is the experience of divinity!

Q-7: What is Enlightenment? (Shanti, Bhiwandi)
It is the existential understanding at the deepest level in your being, in experiential manner, that I am neither this body, nor this mind, nor the intellect. I am the consciousness, which is the substratum on which the modifications of the states of waking, dreaming and deep sleep take place. Any attachment to that, which is temporary, may it be body, mind or intellect; it creates the sense of identification, which is the ego. Going beyond this and getting rooted in innocence, which is egolessness, is the essence of enlightenment.
Such a person stays in the world like a lotus in the pond. He stays in this world without any psychological attachment to any thing. He gets rooted into the witnessing of all that happens to him within and without.

Q-8: Is this process of enlightenment slow and step by step or is it sudden and quantum jump? (Girdhar, Thane)
You have to start working on the path slowly to begin with. If you are living high-speed life, you naturally need to slow down and create some space within. This is necessary because, if you apply breaks to a car moving at very high speed, what happens? It may skid, right? Similarly, the safer option is to slow down your life slowly and come down to a point where you can spare some time for your self.
Once you create enough time for yourself and give yourself the space for solitude, it becomes possible to move step by step towards your ultimate goal of enlightenment. At this stage, this goal is decided by your ego-mind, interested in achieving something in future. Your real sadhana begins when you start observing this mind, which is interested in achieving so many things, with aloof attention. As your intensity of witnessing goes on increasing, you start understanding the way your mind functions. This increase in understanding is slow and steady, like a bud becomes flower. Simultaneously, your awareness goes on increasing steadily. If at this stage, you move from lukewarm approach to more intense approach, the awareness becomes broader as well as sharper. With this it becomes possible to stay in multi-point awareness for some time.
Up to this point, this process is slow and steady, the speed of which being decided by your intensity of alertness and watchfulness. This stage is like walking step by step to climb the stairs and come to the jumping board of the swimming pool!
Beyond this point, there is nothing much in your hand, except staying into that state of multi-point awareness. The inward energy reservoir goes on increasing and at some point the quantum jump in consciousness happens which can not be described by words. So the entire process of enlightenment is step by step and a quantum jump!

To ask a question to Prem, send a mail to prem@premnirmal.com or click here.